Information technology tin experience very easy to pick out toxic relationships from the outside. When your BFF'south boyfriend isn't treating her well, you're all over her case to end it. Or, when a celebrity'southward pregnant other cheats on them, you lot permit your opinion be known on Twitter. The aforementioned might not get when you're in a toxic relationship, though. Yes, in that location are some reddish flags that really can't be ignored. If you get cheated on, or if your Due south.O. is verbally or physically abusive, you may realize yous accept to GTFO of that relationship. Only often, red flags are more than subtle, and hands forgiven, and sometimes you may even find yourself ignoring the really bad ones because you don't want to admit the person you love isn't actually that great for y'all, or that the relationship just isn't good for either of y'all. It's important to be able to notice scarlet flags in your relationship and so you lot tin bargain with them appropriately and determine if this relationship is really the best ane for you. If you think your bae may exist exhibiting some of these behaviors, cheque out these 21 scarlet flags and see if any of them use to your relationship.

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ane. They brand yous feel bad most yourself.

Y'all deserve to date someone who treats y'all like royalty, period. If your Southward.O. wants y'all to change (by dressing differently, blowing off your friends, or drinking and partying when that's not your scene) that's a sign they don't really like you for you, and you lot deserve someone much ameliorate. Also, your S.O is constantly putting you downward, or if their behavior towards yous makes you question your cocky-worth, information technology'southward time to say cheerio. A good relationship will lift you upward and make you feel adept, not knock you down.

2. They accept you second-guessing their feelings toward you.

Games aren't cool, peculiarly when you're in a relationship. It should be obvious that your bae is into you, or else what'due south the point of dating? If it'southward not and so clear, that's a red flag that merits a serious conversation.

"When we enter into a human relationship with someone, nosotros have a demand to experience bonded or continued, and if this bond is threatened, we become anxious, unable to recollect clearly, and often lash out or demand proof that we can count on the other person," says Clinical Psychologist Dr. Rune Moelbak.

While at the start of a relationship, your S.O. may go out of their way to prove their love for you, sometimes that wanes off as the relationship sustains itself for a few months or years. Of course, they don't take to bring y'all flowers everyday, but yous should never be doubting their feelings for you, even a year into a relationship. Your bae should want to evidence you how much they care almost you because it volition make them happy too.

3. They don't listen to you.

If your S.O. never pays attention when yous talk to them, what's the bespeak of dating? They don't need to recall your conversations word for discussion, but they should put their phone downward for a sec (yep, really), listen, and offer thoughtful input. That goes double when yous're stressed or upset. Sure, their eyes might glaze over when you lot're obsessing over Justin Bieber for the millionth fourth dimension, but anyone who is worth your time should take a genuine interest in y'all and your life.

4. They don't back up your goals.

Peradventure you ask them to run flashcards earlier your big test and they say no. Or mayhap y'all talk nigh your big dreams of running your own visitor i solar day and they express mirth you off like they don't believe you lot tin practise it. That sucks. In the long run, yous'll exist happiest and about successful with someone who has total religion in your abilities by your side. If your bae is ever shooting down your goals, they might just exist insecure about their future. But that'south no reason for them to bring you down. Whoever you appointment should believe in you and support your dreams and ambitions.

five. They pressure yous to get physical before y'all're prepare.

Choosing to hook upwardly or accept sex can be a large decision. There'due south no reason to rush into it until you're really ready. The right person will respect you by listening to your boundaries and taking things at a pace you're both comfortable with.

6. The relationship is all about them.

You hang out at your Southward.O.'southward house when information technology's user-friendly for their schedule and get pizza considering information technology's their favorite nutrient. And while that's totally absurd one time in awhile, relationships are nearly requite and accept. If they can't let you cull what to watch on Netflix or talk about what's on your mind sometimes, they're style too selfish to be in a relationship. It's all about compromise and if they don't go it they shouldn't become yous.

7. They never compliment you.

Even shy or stoic people can open up upwardly every once in awhile to say nobody makes them laugh like yous exercise, or that your functioning in the school play deserved an Oscar, or that you look like a freaking supermodel in that clothes. Your S.O. doesn't demand to fawn all over you every second of every day, but a compliment every once in a while is nice to hear and it's pretty standard in a relationship.

8. They don't effort to go along with your friends or family.

Your bae doesn't accept to exist besties with your besties, but they should make a serious effort to get forth with the people who are important to you lot. And they should desire to innovate you to their family and friends likewise. If your friends and family don't have heart-eyes for them, they might exist picking up on blood-red flags that you're too smitten to come across.

9. Your friends call back your Due south.O. sucks.

Chatting with friends should exist fun and piece of cake. If yous're doing mental gymnastics to avoid dropping your bae'due south proper noun and incurring the wrath of your friends' haterade, that's a huge carmine flag. Unless they're jealous monsters, they aren't randomly hating on your S.O. but to hate. They know yous deserve way better (and wish you knew that, likewise).

x. You lot've never met their friends.

In all the time yous've spent together, you've heard countless hilarious stories nigh your bae's friends Andy and Taylor. And then... where are they? If you've been dating for awhile and however haven't met their friends, that's pretty suspicious. Your S.O. may not mean to hide you away, simply if they make up sketchy excuses when y'all tell them yous'd love to come across the coiffure, it might be a sign something'south not right.

11. They call you lot crazy.

"Crazy" is what people telephone call girls when they want to invalidate their feelings and experiences. It'southward a blood-red flag that they aren't mature enough to really listen to y'all, and own up to their behavior. And if they swear up and downwards that every single one of their exes are crazy, information technology may be a sign you should run. The common denominator in that ~crazy~ sitch is bae.

12. They cheque out other people.

Obviously, people allowed to think others are cute, but yous should feel confident enough in your relationship to know that your S.O. is merely into you. If they're ignoring you and staring at the girl across the room when you're literally right there, this person is non worth your time. It'south human nature to notice when other people are cute, but they shouldn't brand you lot feel bad or insecure every fourth dimension you go out.

thirteen. They crook on y'all.

Leave. Seriously, get out. Pronto. They'll do it once more, and even if they don't, you deserve someone who would never violate your trust and risk your relationship like that.

14. Yous always text your bae dorsum right away, but they have their sugariness time to answer to you.

If your S.O. goes a few hours without returning your text every in one case in awhile, it'due south NBD. If they rarely write back on time and sometimes non at all, consider why yous text them dorsum correct away. Because talking to them gives you butterflies? Considering you're having a fantastic conversation? Because you're polite? And why aren't they returning the favor? If their texting fails bother yous, let them know. Your bae might not realize you're counting the minutes betwixt responses. Or they might not experience the aforementioned way about you—in which case, you don't need that in your life.

15. They get jealous when you lot spend fourth dimension away from them.

A healthy relationship involves spending time together, certain, merely it also includes time apart. If your S.O. gets salty one time, they might just experience left out. Schedule a appointment night ASAP and invite them to tag along during the next group outing. Also, try to talk it out with your bae and figure out why they go so jealous. "The ability to be in a loving human relationship requires of us that we develop greater comfort with talking to our partner about those fears and those vulnerabilities that often lie buried underneath our attempts to command and boss," said Dr. Moelbak. "For this reason, couples need to discover a different way to negotiate differences between them. They must not resort to blaming the other person or invalidating the other person's needs." If they repeatedly accept trouble trusting you to be on your ain, that'south a huge crimson flag that they could be unnecessarily controlling or even abusive now or at some signal in the futurity.

16. They arraign you lot during every argument—and never repent when they're the one who messed up.

Look, no one's perfect and relationships tin be tough to navigate sometimes. Maybe you did something to issues your bae in one case or twice. Womp, womp. That doesn't requite them license to blame everything that goes incorrect in your relationship on you. And in fact, doing that is just hurting the human relationship more. "Although blaming the other person temporarily gives y'all respite from your own guilt, sadness, or sense of deficiency, batting this deficiency over to the other side is merely going to lead to more distress in your partner, which is no overall gain for the relationship," said Dr. Moelbak. When they screws up or hurts your feelings, they have a responsibility to own upwards and say their sorry. If Bieber can do it, and then can your bae.

17. They threaten to suspension upward with you all the time.

This is emotionally manipulative behavior. You lot shouldn't have to go through life cringing every time you say or do anything, worrying that your S.O. is going to driblet you lot for good. You should feel secure in your relationship and comfortable enough to exist yourself effectually your bae, non walking on eggshells constantly.

18. They e'er chip out on plans.

If your South.O. cancels 1 date to written report for a big exam, that'southward understandable. If they constantly flakes out because they desire to play video games at home, or something ameliorate came upwards, that means you're dealing with someone who respect you or your time. Save your time for someone who will make time to hang out, because they can't look to spend time with you.

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19. They never take y'all out on a real date.

Nosotros're not saying your bae sucks if they tin can't afford to take you on fancy dates all the time. But if your S.O. never wants to go out in public together, whether it's to grab fro yo, see a moving-picture show, or striking up a party instead of merely hooking up at abode every single time you two hang out, that'south a sign they're non ready to commit. Either they're not listening to you (see #3), they're more than interested in hooking up than having a existent relationship, they're sketchily trying to hide you, or they're just lazy AF and not putting any effort into the human relationship. Whatever information technology is, you're worth more than that and you deserve someone who wants to show y'all off.

20. They're not absurd nearly the things you like.

In that location's a divergence between gently teasing you for your Pretty Lilliputian Liars obsession and making you feel impaired for caring nearly what'southward going on in Rosewood. That difference, BTW, is R-Due east-S-P-East-C-T. You lot Due south.O. doesn't need to honey everything yous love, only they shouldn't make you feel bad for liking the things you similar.

21. They never talk about the future.

While its's important to live in the moment, you also want to know if your s.o. committed to building a hereafter with y'all. At present, this doesn't have to mean that you lot'll be together for 4o years (though you could exist!). But it's nice to come across that your bae wants to brand plans for the holidays or for next summer to testify that they accept your relationship as seriously equally you do.